I’ve been an unfaithful blogger. I don’t consider myself the kind of woman to cheat, but I’ve been cheating since day one on the poor Picaresque. Dreaming of other blogs I could start. Ways I could redesign my blog so that people know how to pronounce and read the name instead of using some obscure artsy word that I felt “perfectly fit my life and vision for my blog.” It’s a blog people. A WEB-LOG. Not the latest business I’m going to begin.

So what is it about me that has caused me to spend my entire life buying pretty new journals only to write four over-dramatic entries and then leave the $25, vintage floral-cover bound notebook out to dry, only to cheat on it weeks later in another room with a tan, leather embossed one?

This is what I have decided is the reason. It’s my deeply ingrained flaw that I will commonly call “perfectionism.” My mom tells tragic tales of me throwing fits at a young age in the middle of the street because the seam on my sock wasn’t on the top of my toes just so. Or the late nights spent on the “hamburger project” in the 6^th grade when everyone else brought in a construction paper design and I made a 3 ft. x 1 ft. fabric construction that dwarfed everyone else’s project. And I carried that sucker in smiling. Knowing my A was just a flick of the red pen away.

So how does a perfectionist continue to blog? I think we have to look at the reasons we are not blogging. What excuses are we making? Are they valid? Are you really too busy? Is the vision of your blog really so off? Do you really have nothing to say? I think the real thing that stops me from regularly blogging is two-fold, and sadly is probably what also stops me from finding my dream job, starting my own businesses, moving to Portland and a host of other things. A combination of fear and lack of discipline, coupled with this package of perfectionism.

All this to say, if you come to my blog, all 10 of you, for reasons mostly professional, you might be disappointed from now on. There are so many people out there blogging about social media and marketing that I’d rather buy a gun then a new iPhone app these days. So I’m sure my love for communication, advertising and marketing will work its way into my posts, but I’m determined to see this sucker through and not just abandon it to begin anew only to cheat again, and it looks like I’ll be posting more personal and less professional sounding entries. So enjoy, or don’t. But at least I’m not a cheater.